February 2011
172 posts
3 tags
1 tag
Really Excited
To tell gurls that I’m the back up singer in a boy band named “Human Edition,” but we haven’t had a hit in 3 years and I’m using meth intravenously in my cock.
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Really Excited
to dance with a girl that’s dressed as Zed from Pulp Fiction while simultaneously pointing both thumbs at my cock while I spew vitriol about that #DumbBros tribal tattoo that was inked by an epileptic with a used needle
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Really Excited
to debate the bartender on charging for Seltzer, but giving Ginger Ale away for free because “The alchies think they’re drinking J & B.”
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Really Excited
to introduce myself to girls as “The Fisher King” and if they bring up good ol’ Theodore Stevens I’ll pronounce my undying love and rap the first 5 lines of “On first looking into Chapman’s Homer”
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Really Excited
to speak only in Twin Shadow lyrics while discussing the new Strokes single with a girl that shaves her vagina into profile view of White Duke Bowie.
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Really Excited
to yell “Get your dingleberry outta the bathroom stall” while I knock a bros drink outta his hand and do a somersault onto his girlfriend.
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Really Excited
to get all sweaty tonight at the bar while I pound seltzer and ask girls which character from Animal Farm they want to be.
CRD will be in FULL EFFECT.
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They get didactic and charitable on Fridays,...
They get didactic and charitable on Fridays, generally
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“It is the unfortunate disposition of many individuals of my generation that our...”
– Threesomes, Intimate Compliments, and Whether “I Look Like an Idiot” | The Hairpin
It’s like this week is “asshole guys” on the internet instead of #SMWNYC. Gonna start #DumbBros soon.
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Something has been bothering me for a couple of...
summerofmegadeth:
summerofmegadeth:
Jesus, are you all that unimaginative?
PEOPLE WHO WATCH PORN FOR THE COMMERCIALS
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“Stop worrying about whether you’re fat. You’re not fat. Or rather, you’re...”
– DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #64: Tiny Beautiful Things - The Rumpus.net
Ladies—PLEASE FOLLOW THIS ADVICE!
I don’t want to sleep with girls. I want to sleep with women. Most normal dudes my age feel the same way.
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I DO ANYTHING →
Things I Will Do For $100,000: Yell your name every time I wake up for the rest of my life Change my political and spiritual leanings Screen all your phone calls for five years Recreate the best day of your life (or worst, whatevs) 84 straight days of copywriting *BEST VALUE* If interested, email me at travisdoesanything@gmail.com. *Prices and tasks are subject to negotiation. I...
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Binary Star-“Honest Expression”
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“Plant consciousness, insect consciousness, fish consciousness, animal...”
– D.H. Lawrence (via azspot)
azspot is the only guy that could have gotten me to reblog such an ecclesiastical quote.
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These fvckers were too talented for me to hate...